Crossroads

[CMDR Croc]

So. A lot has been happening. Both in server and out. And it’s weighing on me.

The thought has crossed my mind to leave, or even drop to a spot like Myth or Spectre ( guys that can staff/run an event at leisure but mostly staff off the staff radar)

I want to stay. I want to help this community grow and make fun events and staff. But things aren’t going so well.

Personal life is a bit stressed. Getting a new house, raising a kid, working 2 jobs.

I don’t know what to do.

There’s so much more but, I made this post not to complain or ramble or quit. We all have hard times and issues now and then and well... stress.

But that doesn’t make me upset. This constant states of toxicity does and it’s only gotten worse as time has gone on.

So I’m asking. Seriously. What should I do.

This isn’t to attack anyone else or even drag any drama. This post is to help me figure out what I am to do. If you all can help, I’d be more than welcome to it.

Thanks in advanced.

 

[ScaryLion]

Dang, I really feel that man. I see exactly where your coming from and its sad. you are a MAIN part of the server and at times, single handley keep it afloat. A big part of why the server is still up and running today is cause of you and I believe a lot of what you suggest gets underappreciated. Now I no in recent times we haven't talked a whole lot, but you've been a real help to my life. It's one thing to say it and another to do it but real life comes before the community, and if you need to leave, leave. Your a good man, and ik you may have some irl issues that we've talked about before that make life hard sometimes. But honestly, do what you need to. Everyone here cares for you, wether you leave or stay those feelings wont change. Whatever is best for you, do it.

Drama is a bitch, and honestly, I tried my hardest to ignore it but you really cant. People can be petty, and people hear but don't listen. How you've stayed here so long and dealed with so much is unbelievable. The communication between people, specifically those in the staff team I believe has deteriorated. People don't talk, they argue, and its just sad. Nowadays, the server is less of a community and more of a faction vs faction. People take side and disregard the facts. Do what you need to do Croc, your a good guy, follow whats best.

 

[ZoZo]

You do what you need to do for your mental health and your family.

Don't stay somewhere that drags you down. I love you Croc, you're the best. You are honestly the most amazing person I've ever met, you are nice, you are supportive, you do what you can to make everyone happy. I'm sorry all this drama has hit you like this. I don't want you to leave, and I am sure that a lot of others don't want you to leave. I appreciate you for what you do, and I always will even if the day comes that you leave. In the end, you choose what you think will be better for you in the long run. I hope you will be able to stay, even having you in Teamspeak to help staff is better than anything. I don't want you stressed out over the happenings in the server. Love you man, stay strong.

 

[Faerie]

I think you need to focus on your real life and make that stable. Yes reborn might bring you joy but the people will still be around. Your mental health is what is most important. Its ok to take a break and breathe. Be selfish and focus on yourself for once. You're a great guy and do so much for others but there comes a time where you should focus on you and your family. Don't worry about the server - its not your responsibility- your family is

 

[Rde Ren]

croc you have done everything for reborn. Giving Gvip to a whole group of new players, dealing with drama, being neutral and doing whats right all the time, doing events, and much more. You deserve a break the most go and focus on irl and be the best crocodile you can be.

 

[Caitlyn]

I think you should take an LOA and make a decision then.

 

[SpookzTheGhost]

Croc, what you do and what you decide is not something you can just ask help for. You've been an absolutely insanely dedicated member of Reborn who has spent way more money than they should have. To you, this might not be the case, but to a lot of people; we see Reborn as the place you call home for some reason. For some strange, nonsensical, and crazy reason you stay and see a lot of these people as family because of how long you've known them and called them friends, companions, associates... Your mental and physical health is more important than the server by a long shot--no matter what anyone may try to tell ya. If your real family needs you, you better be there for them. They are not like us; we are complete strangers who you only know what we tell you about us and we could just easily not really feel the same, but your real life family? They are there for you and you know them personally. They will be there for you during your adventures or misfortunes in life and will, hopefully, stay with you till death.
Drama is gonna be something that will always be apart of this server, it's inevitable because of who we all are as a community in general. You cannot solely deal with it all and still remain a sane man. Don't mistake what you do on Reborn as a duty. While it might be one that you need to do as a staff member, it's not something that you need to do to ensure the survival of countless people. Do not let anyone, no matter who it is, tell you that you HAVE to do your job and play the server. It will only make you into a spiteful person and will eat away at you very very slowly.
Point is; Don't be thinking that we need you so badly that you need to be hurting yourself just to be able to keep the server going. You've done your part a long while ago. Stop being the crutches, the punching bag, or a requirement of the server and let some of the other staff take the burden for a while if you need--hell, WANT.

 

[Spectre8105]

Well, i'm at a point where I don't even hop on to RP, I just rarely hop on to staff/host events for like 2 hours then dip. I usually shrug off all drama as memes, no one hops on the internet to argue, we hop on to pass the time, which I usually do by laughing it by. Now obviously that's put me in a spot where i'm less serious then literally anyone around, but I counteract it by maintaining a serious attitude while taking sits and while replying to serious post on the forums. Doing this lets me stay pretty stress-free when it comes to the server (IRL shit is different) and have a staff position without experiencing the worse of both worlds. That being said, an LOA (like 1-3 weeks) would prob help you.

 

[Myth]

You could take the approach of some people recently and step down while being toxic to anyone who has ever wronged you all while complaining about drama and toxicity. (this is sarcasm)

 

[Oil]

take a 2-4 week loa

 

[Rezza]

take an extended loa, dont kill yourself from stress cause of this server bud. nobody would think any less of you for taking time to get your wits, just make sure that YOU want to take the break.

 

[oxy]

@CMDR_Croc Listen, I know you are debating a GMOD server that you have been on for over 2-3 years and you have had good memories and such. You made it to super admin, everyone loves you and hears your advice. It's honestly time to hear ours. Dude, I barely play on the server anymore as of lately and GMOD overall. It has helped me improve way further mentally to not be on the shit game. Like I've been around the community for a year pushing to 2, and I still hop on the TS from time to time to talk with the mates, but I do not miss the server 1 bit. I'd seriously recommend just stepping down and getting your life in full gear and move on from a game who mostly 15 year old pubescent kids hoard to and complain about drama from some other idiots and how it doesn't go their way. Focus on YOUR FAMILY, and just try to make every day a good day. That's all I have. God speed, my friend.

 

[Spectre8105]

@CMDR_Croc Listen, I know you are debating a GMOD server that you have been on for over 2-3 years and you have had good memories and such. You made it to super admin, everyone loves you and hears your advice. It's honestly time to hear ours. Dude, I barely play on the server anymore as of lately and GMOD overall. It has helped me improve way further mentally to not be on the shit game. Like I've been around the community for a year pushing to 2, and I still hop on the TS from time to time to talk with the mates, but I do not miss the server 1 bit. I'd seriously recommend just stepping down and getting your life in full gear and move on from a game who mostly 15 year old pubescent kids hoard to and complain about drama from some other idiots and how it doesn't go their way. Focus on YOUR FAMILY, and just try to make every day a good day. That's all I have. God speed, my friend.

Bruh responds to this, but not my Phantom Forces invite

 

[Pump]

All good things have to come to an end,

@CMDR_Croc Listen, I know you are debating a GMOD server that you have been on for over 2-3 years and you have had good memories and such. You made it to super admin, everyone loves you and hears your advice. It's honestly time to hear ours. Dude, I barely play on the server anymore as of lately and GMOD overall. It has helped me improve way further mentally to not be on the shit game. Like I've been around the community for a year pushing to 2, and I still hop on the TS from time to time to talk with the mates, but I do not miss the server 1 bit. I'd seriously recommend just stepping down and getting your life in full gear and move on from a game who mostly 15 year old pubescent kids hoard to and complain about drama from some other idiots and how it doesn't go their way. Focus on YOUR FAMILY, and just try to make every day a good day. That's all I have. God speed, my friend.

bro we needed one more for go fish and you you wrote this instead smh

 

[FirehawkXO]

So. A lot has been happening. Both in server and out. And it’s weighing on me.

The thought has crossed my mind to leave, or even drop to a spot like Myth or Spectre ( guys that can staff/run an event at leisure but mostly staff off the staff radar)

I want to stay. I want to help this community grow and make fun events and staff. But things aren’t going so well.

Personal life is a bit stressed. Getting a new house, raising a kid, working 2 jobs.

I don’t know what to do.

There’s so much more but, I made this post not to complain or ramble or quit. We all have hard times and issues now and then and well... stress.

But that doesn’t make me upset. This constant states of toxicity does and it’s only gotten worse as time has gone on.

So I’m asking. Seriously. What should I do.

This isn’t to attack anyone else or even drag any drama. This post is to help me figure out what I am to do. If you all can help, I’d be more than welcome to it.

Thanks in advanced.

You got a son or daughter?

 

[Myth]

You got a son or daughter?

is that somehow important to your advice? the gender of his kid?

 

[Faerie]

he has an adorable mini-me son

 

[Ventum]

Take it from a guy who has had some shit to deal with recently, if it gets too overwhelming, it's not worth it @CMDR_Croc , if you let the server consume your life and dictate your IRL events, you will just be more miserable. My recommendation would be to take a formal LOA to fully think it over and decide if Reborn is really something that is worth it anymore. Good luck man.

And as a personal note, you are an inspiration to some people in this community, including myself. The way you carry yourself and how you are able to handle situations is just something I haven't seen in anyone else in my decade of playing Multiplayer games, you are one of a kind. I and many others appreciate the work you've put into this community. But we all need to move on at some point.

 

[FirehawkXO]

is that somehow important to your advice? the gender of his kid?

I was just asking him a question. ¯\(ツ)/¯

 

[Veys Wicdon]

Leave. Honestly.
As fun as it may have been for a time, if it's starting to weigh on you, then it's not worth it anymore.
Let me put it this way; if you're feeling a lot of anxiety and conflicted emotions over leaving, then the server is causing you too much stress and you should leave. It's simple as that. Once you wipe your hands of it, it'll feel like a huge relief. That's how it was when I left. I honestly cried the night I was deliberating on whether to leave or not. But that kinda made me realize that I was there for the wrong reasons at that point, and it had stopped being a fun game for me. So it sucked for a night, but afterwards was a huge relief. And, best of all, I still had all my friends, still talk to them regularly, still play whatever stupid shit we're in the mood for, whenever. That'll never go away, because a lot of people love you, Croc. That doesn't stop when you stop getting on some gmod server.

And obviously, if you later down the road feel like you miss it, you can always join again. You might have to work your way back up in staff, but people already know and trust you, and you've already done so much, that it would be a much shorter and easier process the second time around.