Ahri Tard
Member
Steam Name and In-Game Name:John Wick (Team Speak)
SteamID:
Server: JVS
Banning Staff:Shepard
Reason for Ban: He called me a retard so I called him a retard
Ban Time: Permanent
What did you do?: Called someone who called me a retard, a retard.
Why you should be unbanned:
Reminds me of the time I saved this tight lil' cutie from getting gangraped, then proceeded to screw her brains out myself.
So you have this hot lil' blond girl surrounded by a bunch of thugs trying to get all up in her snizz. Classic madam in distress situation. Fuck yeah. Time for the champ to roll.
So I walk over with a cool grin on my face and quietly tell them, "Stop it right now or you'll regret it." They laugh and laugh and laugh and tell me to go fuck myself.
Well, I'm a pretty intimidating guy. 6'3", muscular. 3rd degree black belt. So I walk over closer to them and this time, no grin, say seriously, "I'm giving you one more chance. Stop it or you won't see the light of tomorrow's morning sun."
Some of the thugs, fearful and cowardly, back away, but their leader keeps trying to go for the girl. That gets me going, and man oh man do I get going when I'm going to get going. But I'm won't keep going on about how I keep going. Let's just say that he was lucky to be alive after what I did to him.
So the rest of the thugs scream like the sissies they are and run away to their car. But they ain't off the hook. Oh, no. Their terror has just begun.
Using my expert parkour skills, my extensive tactical training, my nearly-photographic memory (I walked through that part of town once and memorized the entire area), and my exceptionally high IQ (which was classified as genius by multiple world-renowned psychiatric experts), I predicted the course that these thugs would take in their car, and in my lightning fast mind, over the course of about a second, plotted a route through which I could run in order to catch up to them.
Then, using my years of practice as a sprinter and long-distance runner, I parkoured through areas of the town that lifelong residents had never seen or knew existed. I caught up to these thugs and jumped on top of the hood of the car as it was zipping by at 80 mph.
Man oh boy oh man were they scared and screaming! Laughing as I was, I then pushed myself over the hood and using my exceptional knowledge of the physics of glass, I broke it into a million pieces with a single strike. Now these thugs knew they had no chance.
I think it's pretty clear at this point that the thugs did not come out of this situation happy nor functional. Let's just say that my moves were comparable to Bruce Lee at his finest, and that these thugs all ended up nearly comatose in a hospital. Wealthy and kind as I am, I paid for their medical care and eventually taught them to be good people who contributed to society, but that's a whole other story.
Anyway, after this massive battle (which I honestly could've done with both hands tied behind my back), I printed back to the girl, who was still in shock from what had almost transpired with her that evening. Upon seeing me, she began to cry tears of joy and nearly came (that's just the effect I have on women because I'm so handsome and charming; I give them "The Look" and they cum on command).
We went back to her place, where she had a friend over. She told her hot friend what I had done for her (she basically came too) and then we all banged for hours (I last a very long time because of my special training; no woman has ever left me unsatisfied).
At the end of all of this, satisfied with my work and having exhausted both of these ladies, I put on my glasses and left with a wink, and just kept on walkin'. 😎
I have a million more stories like this, but I just don't have the time, because I'm too busy bangin' bitches and making the world a better place for everyone. Just use your imagination, and maybe, if you try hard enough, you can someday be 0.0000000000001% as cool as me.
SteamID:
Server: JVS
Banning Staff:Shepard
Reason for Ban: He called me a retard so I called him a retard
Ban Time: Permanent
What did you do?: Called someone who called me a retard, a retard.
Why you should be unbanned:
Reminds me of the time I saved this tight lil' cutie from getting gangraped, then proceeded to screw her brains out myself.
So you have this hot lil' blond girl surrounded by a bunch of thugs trying to get all up in her snizz. Classic madam in distress situation. Fuck yeah. Time for the champ to roll.
So I walk over with a cool grin on my face and quietly tell them, "Stop it right now or you'll regret it." They laugh and laugh and laugh and tell me to go fuck myself.
Well, I'm a pretty intimidating guy. 6'3", muscular. 3rd degree black belt. So I walk over closer to them and this time, no grin, say seriously, "I'm giving you one more chance. Stop it or you won't see the light of tomorrow's morning sun."
Some of the thugs, fearful and cowardly, back away, but their leader keeps trying to go for the girl. That gets me going, and man oh man do I get going when I'm going to get going. But I'm won't keep going on about how I keep going. Let's just say that he was lucky to be alive after what I did to him.
So the rest of the thugs scream like the sissies they are and run away to their car. But they ain't off the hook. Oh, no. Their terror has just begun.
Using my expert parkour skills, my extensive tactical training, my nearly-photographic memory (I walked through that part of town once and memorized the entire area), and my exceptionally high IQ (which was classified as genius by multiple world-renowned psychiatric experts), I predicted the course that these thugs would take in their car, and in my lightning fast mind, over the course of about a second, plotted a route through which I could run in order to catch up to them.
Then, using my years of practice as a sprinter and long-distance runner, I parkoured through areas of the town that lifelong residents had never seen or knew existed. I caught up to these thugs and jumped on top of the hood of the car as it was zipping by at 80 mph.
Man oh boy oh man were they scared and screaming! Laughing as I was, I then pushed myself over the hood and using my exceptional knowledge of the physics of glass, I broke it into a million pieces with a single strike. Now these thugs knew they had no chance.
I think it's pretty clear at this point that the thugs did not come out of this situation happy nor functional. Let's just say that my moves were comparable to Bruce Lee at his finest, and that these thugs all ended up nearly comatose in a hospital. Wealthy and kind as I am, I paid for their medical care and eventually taught them to be good people who contributed to society, but that's a whole other story.
Anyway, after this massive battle (which I honestly could've done with both hands tied behind my back), I printed back to the girl, who was still in shock from what had almost transpired with her that evening. Upon seeing me, she began to cry tears of joy and nearly came (that's just the effect I have on women because I'm so handsome and charming; I give them "The Look" and they cum on command).
We went back to her place, where she had a friend over. She told her hot friend what I had done for her (she basically came too) and then we all banged for hours (I last a very long time because of my special training; no woman has ever left me unsatisfied).
At the end of all of this, satisfied with my work and having exhausted both of these ladies, I put on my glasses and left with a wink, and just kept on walkin'. 😎
I have a million more stories like this, but I just don't have the time, because I'm too busy bangin' bitches and making the world a better place for everyone. Just use your imagination, and maybe, if you try hard enough, you can someday be 0.0000000000001% as cool as me.
