Caitlyns Goodbye

Caitlyn

VIP
Diamond-Vip
So I've been thinking about how I was going to make this for at least a week now and I think it's finally time for me to part ways from Reborn. The rest of this post will be giving my final thoughts and reasoning, I will be leaving Reborn. So if you don't want to read everything else that's fine.

I don't deserve HA anymore - I never thought that I couldn't do a good job as staff or HA, and I still believe that when I do my job I do it well. Although recently I haven't been active enough or done enough to really even deserve this position anymore. Being head-admin requires me to actually be on the server and yes I still usually get my hours by the end of the 2 weeks but it's half-assed and not even enjoyable for me to do it. I cannot do my best job if the job bores me and isn't even enjoyable for me.

Being hypocritical - This ties into my previous point of just not being fit for the role anymore. When I first joined this server and actually became involved and serious with the community I absolutely HATED one thing. That was how (SOME) (not all) super admins were. I hated how Dwayne, Cause, and Charger barely played, I felt sometimes they didn't care and had no idea what they were doing. I can sympathize with them more now after understanding how being staff for so long does burn you out. Although I don't want to be that, I do not want to sit in this position and become something I absolutely hated and was annoyed with. I want to give other staff a chance to prove themselves and a chance for them to take a position and be someone who's excited about it.

I've done my part - At this point, I feel I've already done what I've done and it cannot be changed. Whether good or bad I've hit the end. There's not much more I have to give. I've always cared about the community, no matter how much of a b you think I am I have cared, its Shepards pay-check and his job and I've only wanted to help. I've tried to do my best to bring ideas to the table and always tried to make the server better. I've never had malicious intentions and always wish the best.

Being HA is uncomfortable - It's difficult for me to be staff and always has been, whether it's people who just have it out for me or others who just don't see eye to eye. I've always had to deal with toxicity or just constant adversity, arguably more than any staff or person in this community. It's not entirely true for me to just say “everyone hates me” but it's close and it's something I've had to embrace. Everyone will judge me 10x more than anyone else, and it's hard being in a position that is already watched so closely on top of the bonus of just being me. I've complained about this a lot, but it's just how it is. Whether you think it's deserved or not it's there and it's annoying and frustrating for me it makes my job as HA more difficult, it lowers my confidence it makes it hard for me to make the right decisions.

Reborn was never for me - Hindsight is 20/20, in reality, reborn was never for me. I never belonged in this community. My personality and my way of looking at things doesn't fit with anyone else's and was never the right mindset for this environment. My relationship with Shepard never should have entered into the community and should have stayed away. It's clear the environment wasn't for me, I never got along with anyone and it was always a hard time for me. I really struggled to understand how this community worked and It took me months to adapt, and even changed me a bit as a person. I'm not saying I totally regret being part of Reborn, I just think it would have been better to have not been apart of it at all. You might ask why would I even be staff? Its because I saw problems I thought I could fix, I wanted to help Shepard regardless of what people thought of me. I wanted to try and help him during times when reborn wasn't doing well

Reborn Affected by IRL and vice versa - All of the above are reasons why Reborn is frustrating for me and having negative feelings and a bad mood never translates well into doing other activities after. Reborn makes me upset, it affects how I act and the fact that a video game community is affecting me personally means I shouldn't be a part of it. On the other hand, real-life has been difficult for me, 2019 has been the hardest year of my life. The timing of me joining this community was really bad, my real-life frustrations and problems translate into how I act on Reborn sometimes. It's another reason why I cannot keep doing HA.

I appreciate anyone who took the time to read my thoughts, I may join the server from time to time, or look at discord. But my activity and involvement in reborn will be minimal and eventually probably non-existent.
 

derpy1

Gold-Vip
It's really sad to see you go, I wish you luck with whatever you choose to pursue in the future.
 

Myth

VIP
lets see reborn do what they usually do and instantly act like they all love you on your going away post after trying to bully you out of the community. Should rename this post to "Bronze Smite Player Finally Resigns"
 

Pump

Platinum-Vip
You have to have a certain IQ to play on reborn and unfortunately your brain could not compare to my genius. However I am currently looking for an “e-girl” so if you are interested in something like that my pictochat friend code is #AGSJU749 and I have to ask my mom if I can take you to red lobster.
 
You have to have a certain IQ to play on reborn and unfortunately your brain could not compare to my genius. However I am currently looking for an “e-girl” so if you are interested in something like that my pictochat friend code is #AGSJU749 and I have to ask my mom if I can take you to red lobster.
hmu bro u kinda cute ngl
 

Caitlyn

VIP
Diamond-Vip
lets see reborn do what they usually do and instantly act like they all love you on your going away post after trying to bully you out of the community. Should rename this post to "Bronze Smite Player Finally Resigns"
ill have u know im on a 7 game ranked win streak.
 

Atreus

Diamond-Vip
You have to have a certain IQ to play on reborn and unfortunately your brain could not compare to my genius. However I am currently looking for an “e-girl” so if you are interested in something like that my pictochat friend code is #AGSJU749 and I have to ask my mom if I can take you to red lobster.
the song in your signature is a hot jam dawg
 
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